Kindly Don’ts and Kindly Do’s: Building a More Supportive Food and Body Culture

The way we talk about food, bodies, and health matters. Words carry weight– they can either reinforce diet culture and shame, or they can nurture compassion, respect, and freedom.

Ever feel like conversations about eating and appearance leave you drained or doubting yourself and your habits? Diet culture is everywhere, and often it sneaks into our daily language without us even realising. By paying attention to the messages, we share with ourselves and with others, we can start to shift toward a kinder, more supportive way of thinking.

Here are some Kindly Don’ts and their Kindly Do’s to guide you.

Kindly Don’ts:

• Comment on someone’s weight, body size, or shape (even if you think it’s a compliment)

• Equate thinness with health or worth

• Use food as a moral label (like “good” or “bad”)

• Talk about “earning” food through exercise

• Glorify weight loss as the ultimate achievement

• Assume you know someone’s health based on their appearance

• Comment on portion sizes or what others are eating

• Forget that health looks different for everyone and that there’s no single “ideal”

And instead…Kindly Do’s:

• Celebrate qualities beyond appearance, such as kindness, creativity, or resilience

• Recognise that health and worth are not defined by body size

• Talk about food in neutral, supportive ways– as nourishment, pleasure, and connection

• Encourage movement for joy, energy, and wellbeing, not as punishment or a trade-off for food

• Value achievements, relationships, and experiences beyond body changes

• Understand that health is personal and cannot be judged by appearance alone

• Respect people’s food choices and portions without comment

• Embrace body diversity and acknowledge that health and wellbeing look different for everyone

Why This Matters

Shifting from “don’ts” to “do’s” isn’t about being polite. It’s about creating environments where people feel safe in their bodies and free to enjoy food without guilt. Diet culture thrives on rules, shame, and comparison. But when we change the language we use, we chip away at that culture and make space for compassion.

This doesn’t mean we’ll always get it right– reshaping our beliefs around diet culture is a learning journey and lengthy process. What matters is noticing when those old patterns show up, gently challenging them, and practicing kinder alternatives.

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